1 Month Postpartum Update - Baby #2

I seriously can't believe it's been a whole month since Samantha was born! It has all flown by so quickly. I thought it flew by quickly with Vincent, but holy moly; even more so this time. I find the day being ripped out from underneath my feet like a rug sometimes! I get up in the morning, feed Samantha while drinking a cup of coffee and interacting with Vince, spend the day tending to the kids, getting little chores done and checking facebook here and there, sometimes out running errands and all of a sudden, it's 6 PM and I haven't even put two thoughts towards dinner! xD 
But it's been fun!! And I have been a LOT more zen this time around that I was the first. I am less stressed out about chores not getting done on time and am not as paranoid, spending all night staring my child in the face, making sure she is still breathing! Although Vincent and Samantha are very different, I have a lot more experience than I did the first time and things are a lot more familiar and easier to know how to handle. (for the most part lol!)

So! To the actual update:  
Weight loss: The weight isn't dropping off quite as quickly as it did with Vincent, but I also gained 38 lbs this time around, compared to the 16 lbs (29 if you count the 13 lbs I lost in the 1st trimester and gained back). At 40 weeks, I weighed 178.4 lbs and today, I weigh 155 lbs. My pre-pregnancy weight was 139.8 lbs, so I've got 15.2 lbs to go! And at 40 weeks, my belly was 46.5 in around and now it is 40 in. At 3 weeks postpartum, I was FINALLY allowed to resume normal activity, which means lifting Vincent, vacuuming and mopping and working out! :D So that will definitely help. Also, just like last time, I've been craving healthier foods since giving birth! I swear, it's like my body is craving what it needs to properly produce milk. So that will also help a lot! I ate SO much junk during my pregnancy, because honestly, I was so happy to not feel so damn sick, that I let myself go haha! But, I admit to still having a big sweet tooth, which I know I need to knock off in order to lose the rest of the weight! ;P
Now that I can actually properly examine my belly, I realize that instead of getting more stretch marks, the old ones sort of just expanded upward! So TECHNICALLY, I didn't really get any new ones! ;D I am not near as bothered by them this time than I was last time. They represent something truly incredible to me and symbolize the lives of my children. I was telling Mike it's like getting a unique and free tattoo. :D

Physically: As I mentioned in my birth story, unfortunately, I had to have another D&C about a week postpartum. I had a rather large clot the night before and actually took a photo of it to show the doctor just in case. Sure enough, the next morning I woke up with severe abdominal pain, just like the first time. It was like one long contraction and it was really difficult to walk. I called my doctor this time instead of going to the ER (because f*** that $400 co-payment!!). They had me come straight in. My doctor was out of town, so the nurse practitioner saw me. She checked me and confirmed I had a bunch of clots left. She pushed on my stomach and tried to pull out as many as possible. It was SO painful - almost worse than labor. I screamed! (As a matter of fact when I went in for my follow up appointment post surgery, the nurse said "Hey! You're not in pain!" xD I almost added "Or screaming!" haha)
She wasn't able to get everything out, so she sent me straight over to the hospital for the procedure. It was an almost all day wait, since both doctors were out of town, but the procedure itself was quick, I didn't have to be on IV antibiotics this time and I was able to go home about an hour later! :)

I have been feeling loads better since, especially since finishing my antibiotics. My recovery time was extended by a week again and I'm glad it's over now and I can pick up Vincent again! I have no more cramping and the doctor said that my uterus has gone back to it's normal size. I am still a bit sore where I tore, but otherwise, I am in no pain! I am still bleeding, but it's normal and not very bothersome. 
Emotionally: I'm actually doing pretty well! I am much more used to sleep deprivation that I was the first time and am able to handle it a LOT better. Having my mom here has REALLY helped a lot and made it easier for me to slowly transition from the responsibility of just a toddler to a toddler and a newborn. The first couple days postpartum, I had several sobbing meltdowns. I'd have a quick flashback about the birth and just lose it. Because everything was so hectic and fast and I was planning on getting the epidural and couldn't, I was a bit traumatized for a few days! That was a freaking intense labor and I was not at all expecting it to go the way it did! I feel loads better about it now and SUPER proud of myself for getting through a natural birth! It helped to let all of those emotions out. I still occasionally get the weepies over little things (hellooooo hormones!), like Vincent saying something new or being cute, Samantha smiling in her sleep or some super cheesy commercial, but they're generally happy tears and absolutely due to postpartum hormones. It's really only on the days when I'm particularly sleep deprived and dealt with a colicky baby all night, that I have very little patience and tend to snap easily the next day. 

That's about it! I made a separate post with Samantha's one month update, which you can read here! 

Samantha's 1 Month Update!

Height/Weight: At her 2 week appointment, she was 7lbs 3oz (40%) (gained 14oz since her appointment at 5 days old!!), 19.75 in long (63%) and her head circumference was 35.5cm (69%). We went to a breastfeeding group meet up at the hospital in Odessa about a week ago and she was 8lbs 1oz! :)

Daily: Everything is pretty much the same as it was at a week old; she is awake and alert quite a bit, during which we do tummy time and I have her lie on her back to check out her toys and watch her brother play. She has a lot more patience with tummy time than Vincent did, but it's all about timing. It's best to do 20-30 minutes after she has eaten and had a good burp! I try to get my snuggles as much as possible, but it's definitely more difficult than it was with Vince, since I have him to take care of as well! He is still so, so sweet and gentle with her and when she is in the swing or being held, he will come up and say "A kiss? A kiss?" <3 She doesn't seem to mind kisses from big brother at all. He also likes to hold her hand a lot. Unless colicky, she is a very content little miss! :) The pediatrician mentioned how incredibly alert she was; wide-eyed and looking around the room! Like Vincent did, she loves to stare at lamps or look out the window. 

Sleep: She has good nights and bad nights; it always depends on the gassiness! I can tell that's what's bothering her, because she will arch her back and let out the most pitiful, painful cry. :( It breaks my heart and there's only so much I can do to help relieve it! On a good night, she will eat every 3-4 hours, burp after and I'll change her, then rock her for a few minutes and she crashes right back out. On bad nights, she will want to eat every 2 hours or so and wake up a lot in between with gas pain; it's on those nights that it's particularly hard to get her to burp! During the day, I've noticed she will often follow an eat, awake time, eat, sleep, repeat pattern. She stays awake for pretty decent stretches! I've been tracking her sleep lately, to learn her patterns a little better and see what schedule and routine would work best for her.
She still sleeps through noise pretty well, but definitely less so than she did in the beginning. But once she is in deep sleep, noise really doesn't phase her. She naps out in the living area during the day for the most part and I've been putting her down in her bassinet in our bedroom when Vincent naps. She not very picky about where she sleeps, other than when she is colicky and wants to be held. She likes the bassinet, the swing and the bouncy seat pretty well! She has also slept on that fluffy owl nap mat on the couch next to me a few times. :) 

Eating: Breastfeeding is going great - she gained a good amount of weight and that makes me soooo happy! It's always so nerve wracking when they aren't gaining weight the way they "should". The pediatrician was very encouraging and sweet and I felt so relieved after she was weighed! She does still have an issue sucking too much air. The pediatrician confirmed my suspicion that she has got a bit of a lip tie and recommended a lactation consultant to get in touch with, to see if we could work on her latch a bit more. When I met with the lactation consultant at the breastfeeding meet up, she said that it's not so much the lip tie that is causing the issue, but instead, her shallow latch. She doesn't open her mouth very wide, so she doesn't latch as deeply as she should, which causes her to swallow so much air. Vincent never had this issue, so it has been hard and I've often wondered if there's something I am doing wrong. But I am doing everything I can to work on her latch and plan on continuing to go to breastfeeding meet ups! :) I have to take breaks every couple minutes during the feeding to burp her, otherwise she will end up super gassy and/or projectile vomit. The longer I wait to burp her, the harder it is to get her to do it! It means that nursing her to sleep or in the side-lying position is pretty much impossible, but I'm certain once she gets a bit older and grows out of it, we will be able to! :) As I mentioned above, she eats anywhere from every 2-4 hours with 3 being the norm at night and every 2-3 during the day, unless she is clusterfeeding. However, I've stopped setting alarms at night for her to eat, because she generally won't go past the 4 hour mark anyway and she is obviously doing fine with the weight gain! :)

Sizes: Still in newborn and likely will be for a few more weeks. (Is it weird that I am happy about this? I am nowhere near ready to put up the newborn clothing!!) She is also still in newborn diapers; we had to go buy more the other day, because we ran out! I like to keep my kids in a smaller diaper for as long as possible, because the smaller the size, the more you get in a pack or box! ;) Newborn socks still slide right off her feet, unless I tuck them into the legs of her pants and I haven't even bothered with shoes yet! xD <3

Milestones:

• First Easter! <3 Also met the Easter Bunny for the first time! :)

• First photo shoot! It amazed me how easy it ended up being to take the photos by myself at home! I fed her and burped beforehand, to make sure she'd be super sleepy, then used a heating pad on a low setting and she CRASHED out. I mean, I was able to pose her and dress her a couple times without her waking up! It was a total success. I wish I had taken the time to do the same for Vincent!

• First doctor appointment!

• First size 5 diaper! Hahaha - this is what happens when you haven't gotten enough sleep, are in a rush to get out the door and remember to pack the toddler's diapers, but NOT the newborn's! Thank goodness it wasn't the other way around! xD

• First bath in the tub! Much like her brother, she likes the bath itself, but HATES getting out!

• First time at the park :)

• First time shopping (disclaimer: straps were loosened slightly just while we were in the store)

Samantha's Birth Story

On March 11th, I had my 40 week prenatal appointment. It cracked me up when the nurse told me "You're 40 weeks and three days along, okay?". I (not) jokingly responded with "I'm painfully aware."  I was due for a NST (non stress test), which monitors baby's movement and contractions, and a biophysical profile, which is an ultrasound to check on baby's activity, fluid levels etc. My OB was also going to check on dilation and effacement, to see if I'd made any progress since my last appointment. My sister in law came along to keep me company, which was great and very much needed! As far as dilation and effacement went, I was still just a fingertip dilated and still only about 80% effaced like I was at my last appointment. And unless I was laughing, Samantha wasn't very active during the NST. I felt a couple twinges, that I wouldn't have really called contractions, but they were just barely popping up on the paper. Everything looked okay on the ultrasound, but she was again not very active, just sucking on her fingers. One of the things the doctors want to see is the baby practice breathing, which she didn't during the ultrasound. 

After this was all done, the doctor came in and said that I am to go to the hospital tomorrow at 4 PM and I said HANG ON. What? Why?? He said that because her activity wasn't where he'd like it to be, he wanted to induce me the next day. Um - could you not have just initially said that?! I had made it pretty clear a month or so prior, that I did NOT want an induction unless absolutely medically necessary. I tried to argue with him (as kindly as possible), asking lots of questions, which led to him finally explaining everything I mentioned above. Basically, I didn't have much choice in the matter and my gut told me I needed to just leave it in fate's hands and trust my doctor's judgement. After he gave me my paperwork and left the room, I had a meltdown. My biggest fear with the induction was that it wouldn't work and lead to a c-section. If you know me, you know I'm terrified of surgery and the thought of a c-section scared the living crap out of me. And especially after having such laid back and relaxed midwives during my pregnancy with Vince, it had been a bit nerve-wracking that I'd felt more like a chart than a pregnant woman with my OB. 
Thanks to my sister in law, I calmed down, took a deep breath and we decided to go run a couple of errands. I was having some light contractions and they seemed to have a pattern, but I could walk, talk and drive through them, so I didn't pay them much mind. When we got back home, we decided to order some Olive Garden for dinner and I took some time to make a couple of phone calls, to let family know what was going on. I was starting to lose bits of my plug, which excited me, but there was no "show", like there was with Vincent, so I didn't get my hopes up. While eating dinner, the contractions picked up a little and they were getting hard to talk through. I put Vincent to bed and hopped in the shower afterward. I decided to try and go to bed early, since I knew I'd likely not be getting much sleep for a while after that! 
Well, I never went to sleep....at 11:30, I started having some ass kicking contractions. I had to moan through them. I started timing them. First 8 minutes apart, then 6, then 4, then 2, lasting about a minute or more. After about half an hour of these, I woke up my mom and husband and told them that we needed to go to the hospital. My sister in law immediately came over to stay with Vincent. By the time we left the house, the contractions had been two minutes apart, lasting a minute for over an hour. We got to the hospital just after 1AM. I was admitted immediately. My nurse checked me and I was 5cm dilated!! Woohoo! I was in so much pain, that I asked for the epidural pretty quickly, since I knew I was progressing fast and it takes a while for them to actually get it ready. The only way I was able to get through the contractions without losing control was to moan or weirdly breathe through them, grab onto either Mike or my mom's hand and stare them dead in the eye. Later they both told me that I looked like I wanted their death! xD

Nurse waited to finish placing my IV, because I was in the middle of a contraction!

These were the only photos my mom was able to get of me in labor, because of how quickly everything happened!

A little while later, I had the nurse check me again as we were getting closer to time for the epidural. I was 8cm dilated. Knowing I was most definitely in transition with the contractions helped me a little, because I knew it couldn't get worse than that. Shortly after, my nurse had me sit up and face Mike, who was sitting in the chair next to the bed, because the lady administering the epidural was outside. I had a very strong contraction and had to hyperventilate through it. Mom and Mike told me to breathe slowly and I found myself telling them "STOP. TELLING ME. HOW. THE MOTHERF*** TO BREEEEATHE." and I screamed. The nurses came running in and out of nowhere, I felt this wickedly strong urge to push. My nurse told me not to push, but to lie back; my doctor was almost there. I told her that I couldn't help it - my body was pushing on its own!! She checked me again and sure enough - Samantha was crowning!! At that point it was clear that my doctor was not going to make it in time and the nurses would have to deliver her and my plans to get the epidural flew right out the window. I freaked out badly. 
My nurse was an angel sent from heaven! She got right up in my face and said "Hey! Stay in control. You are doing this. Your body is doing this. I am right here and we can do this together!" I needed to hear that coming from her SO badly. I guess it was different hearing it from her, because she was my nurse, I felt she had everything under control and she had authority. (I wish so badly we had taken a photo with her - I absolutely adored her and am so thankful for her!) There were probably about 6 nurses total in my room and around my bed during the delivery. One was holding an oxygen mask up to my face and I remember mom asking if I wanted my glasses off. I said NO, otherwise I wouldn't be able to focus on anything! They had me lying completely flat on my back as well and didn't want for me to be in any other position, because they'd lose the heartbeat on the monitor. It was SO hard for me to push in that position - I wanted so badly to squat or be on my hands and knees, but it just wasn't possible at that point. It is honestly really hard to say exactly what time anything happened, because it was all so fast. Mike and my mom weren't watching the clock either, so it's really all just a guesstimate! But my mom is guessing I pushed about 10 times before she was born.
We arrived at the hospital just after one and Samantha Ruth Neergaard entered the world 1.5 hours later at 2:39 AM! She weighed 6lbs 8oz, was 19 inches long and her head circumference was 34cm! The nurses whisked her off pretty quickly - it was all extremely chaotic, since my doctor wasn't there. I remember stopping the nurse who was about to cut the cord and telling her to let Mike do it. It seemed like forever before I was able to hold her, but I knew they were trying to properly suction her out and make sure she was okay first. I was MUCH more aware of birthing the placenta this time around, since I had no epidural. Because of my history after Vincent's birth and having lots of clots left, I was given pitocin and the nurse reached in to pull out clots, while pushing on my abdomen very hard. It was SO painful, but I knew it was necessary to help avoid another infection and D&C. It was beyond me how much came out after the placenta!! Meanwhile, my doctor walks in and says "Okay, are we ready?", then hears Samantha cry, looks over and goes "Oh..." xD I was in so much pain, but internally, I was laughing hard! It was absolutely priceless. So he basically arrived just in time to stitch me up, shake my and Mike's hands and tell us congratulations. I can't help but chuckle every time I think about it! I had a second degree tear, which I really didn't notice getting during pushing. (As a matter of fact, I don't really remember feeling the ring of fire either) I received a numbing shot before getting stitched up, which helped tremendously with the pain and I hardly felt getting the stitches.

Samantha was crying something FIERCE during most of the process, until Mike was able to hold her. It amazed me how loud and demanding her cry was!! I remember Vincent's being so tiny and polite. Not Samantha's. Her's screamed "HELLOOOO HERE I AM! FEED ME." As soon as she was placed in my arms for the first time, it was beyond clear to me that she wanted to nurse. She latched immediately! xD Well hi, nice to meet you too! Here's some dinner! I was given some pretty hefty pain medication afterward, which nearly knocked me out as I was trying to use the restroom - I had to lean forward and touch the floor to get the blood to rush back to my head! Once I was finally able to use the bathroom, I was taken upstairs to the maternity ward, where we stayed until we were discharged on Sunday.

Samantha's weight dropped down to just a smidge under 6lbs by the next day, so they kept us another day, to try and get her weight back up. They were going to have me supplement with formula, so while my mom tried to get her to take the bottle, I pumped to make up for the formula feeding. I was able to pump enough to give her the breast milk instead of the formula! It turned out that the reason of the significant weight loss was because of a bad latch. Which made sense, because I was cracking and bleeding and nursing was SO painful - completely different from how it was with Vincent. When trying to give her a bottle or a pacifier, she would gag and spit it out immediately. She wasn't latching deep enough when she nursed either. After a couple of good, solid meetings with the lactation consultant, some bottle feedings and pump sessions, we were able to fix the latch issue and she jumped back up to 6lbs 2oz!

Sally, one of my favorite nurses during our hospital stay - she was so incredibly sweet and helpful with Samantha and very emotionally supportive. She was able to get Samantha to finally take her bottle and helped me find a good way to keep her awake through feedings. Despite having other patients to tend to and other things to do as well, she always took lots of time with us and made sure we were well taken care of! :)

Here are a few more photos of our hospital stay:

Proud daddy! <3

First time she took a binky, which was a huge deal after having issues with gagging!

Vincent meeting his baby sister for the first time! <3

Proud big brother!

She kept leaning forward while I gave her kisses - it was so, so sweet!

We were finally able to go home on Sunday at around noon. It was wonderful to be back home with Mike and Vincent again! It was SO hard to be away from Vincent for so long, even though Mike and our family brought him to the hospital several times to visit. I had never been away from him for so long and it was hard on both of us. But, I will say that I had fantastic experience at the hospital where I delivered and I loved each and every one of my nurses!! Since I've been home, I've gotten two calls from the nursing staff to check up on me and answer any questions I may have. I've felt so cared for through this whole process and if we decide to have another baby down the road, I am most definitely going to deliver there again!! 

Finally home! Exhausted; but home! :D

The first two weeks back have been going great! I have been so thankful for my mom, who has been an incredible help to me, especially with Mike having to go straight back to work the day after we were discharged from the hospital. I am also beyond thankful for my sister in law, who cared for Vincent the majority of my hospital stay and has done everything in her power to provide help and support these past several weeks. I unfortunately ended up having to have another D&C about a week postpartum, like I did after Vincent was born and she stayed with me at the hospital, while my mom was at home with the kids. I know it sounds very cliche to say, but I am so incredibly blessed to have such a loving and caring family and sweet babies! My heart is truly full.