I seriously can't believe it's been a whole month since Samantha was born! It has all flown by so quickly. I thought it flew by quickly with Vincent, but holy moly; even more so this time. I find the day being ripped out from underneath my feet like a rug sometimes! I get up in the morning, feed Samantha while drinking a cup of coffee and interacting with Vince, spend the day tending to the kids, getting little chores done and checking facebook here and there, sometimes out running errands and all of a sudden, it's 6 PM and I haven't even put two thoughts towards dinner! xD
But it's been fun!! And I have been a LOT more zen this time around that I was the first. I am less stressed out about chores not getting done on time and am not as paranoid, spending all night staring my child in the face, making sure she is still breathing! Although Vincent and Samantha are very different, I have a lot more experience than I did the first time and things are a lot more familiar and easier to know how to handle. (for the most part lol!)
So! To the actual update:
Weight loss: The weight isn't dropping off quite as quickly as it did with Vincent, but I also gained 38 lbs this time around, compared to the 16 lbs (29 if you count the 13 lbs I lost in the 1st trimester and gained back). At 40 weeks, I weighed 178.4 lbs and today, I weigh 155 lbs. My pre-pregnancy weight was 139.8 lbs, so I've got 15.2 lbs to go! And at 40 weeks, my belly was 46.5 in around and now it is 40 in. At 3 weeks postpartum, I was FINALLY allowed to resume normal activity, which means lifting Vincent, vacuuming and mopping and working out! :D So that will definitely help. Also, just like last time, I've been craving healthier foods since giving birth! I swear, it's like my body is craving what it needs to properly produce milk. So that will also help a lot! I ate SO much junk during my pregnancy, because honestly, I was so happy to not feel so damn sick, that I let myself go haha! But, I admit to still having a big sweet tooth, which I know I need to knock off in order to lose the rest of the weight! ;P
Now that I can actually properly examine my belly, I realize that instead of getting more stretch marks, the old ones sort of just expanded upward! So TECHNICALLY, I didn't really get any new ones! ;D I am not near as bothered by them this time than I was last time. They represent something truly incredible to me and symbolize the lives of my children. I was telling Mike it's like getting a unique and free tattoo. :D
Physically: As I mentioned in my birth story, unfortunately, I had to have another D&C about a week postpartum. I had a rather large clot the night before and actually took a photo of it to show the doctor just in case. Sure enough, the next morning I woke up with severe abdominal pain, just like the first time. It was like one long contraction and it was really difficult to walk. I called my doctor this time instead of going to the ER (because f*** that $400 co-payment!!). They had me come straight in. My doctor was out of town, so the nurse practitioner saw me. She checked me and confirmed I had a bunch of clots left. She pushed on my stomach and tried to pull out as many as possible. It was SO painful - almost worse than labor. I screamed! (As a matter of fact when I went in for my follow up appointment post surgery, the nurse said "Hey! You're not in pain!" xD I almost added "Or screaming!" haha)
She wasn't able to get everything out, so she sent me straight over to the hospital for the procedure. It was an almost all day wait, since both doctors were out of town, but the procedure itself was quick, I didn't have to be on IV antibiotics this time and I was able to go home about an hour later! :)
I have been feeling loads better since, especially since finishing my antibiotics. My recovery time was extended by a week again and I'm glad it's over now and I can pick up Vincent again! I have no more cramping and the doctor said that my uterus has gone back to it's normal size. I am still a bit sore where I tore, but otherwise, I am in no pain! I am still bleeding, but it's normal and not very bothersome.
Emotionally: I'm actually doing pretty well! I am much more used to sleep deprivation that I was the first time and am able to handle it a LOT better. Having my mom here has REALLY helped a lot and made it easier for me to slowly transition from the responsibility of just a toddler to a toddler and a newborn. The first couple days postpartum, I had several sobbing meltdowns. I'd have a quick flashback about the birth and just lose it. Because everything was so hectic and fast and I was planning on getting the epidural and couldn't, I was a bit traumatized for a few days! That was a freaking intense labor and I was not at all expecting it to go the way it did! I feel loads better about it now and SUPER proud of myself for getting through a natural birth! It helped to let all of those emotions out. I still occasionally get the weepies over little things (hellooooo hormones!), like Vincent saying something new or being cute, Samantha smiling in her sleep or some super cheesy commercial, but they're generally happy tears and absolutely due to postpartum hormones. It's really only on the days when I'm particularly sleep deprived and dealt with a colicky baby all night, that I have very little patience and tend to snap easily the next day.
That's about it! I made a separate post with Samantha's one month update, which you can read here!
I'm a first time mom - the whole experience of pregnancy, labor and delivery and life postpartum was completely foreign to me and I had no idea what to expect. I had never been around pregnant women growing up and had only ever held a baby a few times. So the time spent between the bed and the toilet, especially in the first several months of my pregnancy, I spent doing my research. Pregnancy groups and forums, blogs, books, apps...I looked just about everywhere and just spent a lot of time reading and asking questions.
But even all that research didn't fully prepare me for what was in store! Some of the things on this list I was aware of; others came as a complete surprise. So here are the things I came up with, that you wouldn't think to expect while you're expecting!
Pregnancy
1. Morning sickness is not necessarily just in the morning. It can hit you like a freight train at any time of the day and it can be ruthless. And unfortunately for many women, the saying that it "goes away after the first trimester" is a lie. An evil lie. For me, the vomiting lasted until a few weeks into my third trimester, then picked right back up during the last three weeks, lasting until the day I gave birth.
2. Don't rely on the heartbeat to determine the baby's gender. My son's heartbeat was 160 bpm at my first few appointments, making me think he might be a girl, then it dropped to the 140's after we found out the gender! The heartbeat really depends on how active the baby is at the time.
3. Honestly, lack of sleep does not start when the baby is born. It starts much, much sooner. If you're lucky and aren't dealing with a lot of pregnancy symptoms in the beginning that are preventing you from sleeping in the first trimester, you will be able to take some serious hibernation-like naps, all with drool and crazy dreams. Otherwise, you'll begin to get up just about every hour at night to use the bathroom. Even when decreasing your fluid intake, you're still going to be getting up often. (And you really shouldn't decrease your fluid intake anyway.) It tends to get a little better in the 2nd trimester, then get worse than ever before in the 3rd. I got to where I could actually partially sleepwalk to the bathroom with my eyes closed, just to make it easier for myself to fall back to sleep when I got back to bed.
4. Acid reflux. It haunted me for the entire second half of my pregnancy, finally letting up a tad once the baby dropped. Acid reflux just plain sucks. It seriously does. There were times that it was so bad, it would keep me up all night and cause me to throw up. It wasn't until I started stacking my pillows up high in the bed, cutting certain "trigger foods" out of my diet, that it became tolerable. Drinking a glass of milk or eating a yogurt also helped take the edge off for me.
5. Just because you didn't see a single sign of stretch marks for the first 8 months of your pregnancy, does not mean they won't show up in your 9th month! Happened to me.
6. Let me sing you a little song about something called "diastasis recti" or "abdominal separation". I did not even know it was even possible for your abdominal muscles to split apart until I went to lay back on the table at my midwife's office and saw my stomach shape itself into a pyramid, which was basically my uterus bulging out between my muscles. Just the thought of it makes me cringe. Apparently it's very common, but I had never heard of it before! I am guessing the cause of mine was likely due to poor posture.
It won't necessarily happen to you, but it's definitely something to be aware about. Unfortunately, once you have it during pregnancy, there isn't much you can do to help it until after baby has arrived. But there are precautions you can take and several exercises to do postpartum to assist the healing process. I wish so DESPERATELY I had seen this pin on Pinterest several months back, but I of course didn't think to look until after I was aware. This page has some great exercises and tips:
http://www.inspiredrd.com/2012/06/dear-diastasis-recti-im-so-over-you.html
7. Besides a growing belly, you will notice lots of other changes! A few unexpected ones for me were: I only had to shave my legs once every two weeks, because the hair stopped growing! However what didn't grow on my legs, began to show up in other unexpected places! Haha! Another was that my hair would not get greasy very often at all, so I didn't have to wash it as often.
8. Your sense of smell is heightened during pregnancy. So things that you normally might find pleasant smelling (perfume, candles etc.) can become way too strong. I also found my sense of taste was heightened. So I would have to brush my teeth about 4 or 5 times per day to help get rid of the nasty taste in my mouth!
Labor & Delivery
1. This is one thing I was not prepared for: Even though it may not be active, labor can last for weeks! I went to the hospital two times for false labor, prior to actually giving birth. I started having real contractions at around 37 weeks that stuck around no matter what I did, unlike braxton hicks, which usually stop if you lay down and drink water. These were close together and fairly intense, but would eventually end up spacing off.
2. Just because you're dilated, does not mean that you're going to give birth the next day or even several weeks. As mentioned above, labor can last for weeks and all those braxton hicks or practice contractions are actually dilating you slowly! Every woman is different - some women will not be at all dilated or effaced and go into labor the next day. I was 1cm dilated and 60% effaced at 36 weeks and went past my due date.
3. Your water doesn't necessarily break on it's own! And when it does, it might not be the only time it does! I was 9cm dilated when my midwife broke my water and she had to do it again not only once but TWICE after she did the first time! I had no idea your water could be broken so many times. Apparently it has layers.
4. Contractions aren't always several minutes apart. Once I got to about four centimeters, my contractions were one on top of the other, because I was dilating so fast. I barely had 30 seconds in between them to breathe. This is what ended up causing my decision to get an epidural, because I just couldn't take it anymore.
5. You may choose ahead of time to get an epidural. However, be aware that you have to be at least 4cm dilated to get it.
6. Yes, you are going to poo in front of people. And no, you're not going to care. You will be so preoccupied with pushing something the size of a watermelon out something the size of a lemon, that you won't even have time to think about it. I'd say you wouldn't notice it, but I did - which actually gave me a much needed laugh!
Postpartum Recovery
1. Recovery can be pretty painful, especially if you tore or had an episiotomy. Witch hazel, tucks pads and dermoplast will be your best friends! Also a peri-bottle (used to squirt warm water on your lady parts while you do your business), which most hospitals provide and send home with you.
2. You're going to bleed. A LOT. And it can last anywhere from 2-6 weeks. At nearly 8 weeks postpartum, I am still spotting a little bit. It's definitely a good idea to stock up on some maxi pads before giving birth, because the ones you will (most likely) receive from the hospital won't last very long!
3. Contractions don't stop after giving birth, because your uterus needs to contract back to it's normal size. You'll feel them especially while you're breastfeeding, which is why I put a heating pad on my abdomen every time I nursed my son for the first two weeks. It seemed to really help. Also ibuprofen. LOTS of ibuprofen!
4. Your belly takes a while to shrink back to it's normal size! You won't just pop out the baby and BAM - there's your pre-pregnancy belly. It took about a month for my belly to shrink back down to it's "normal" size and it can take a lot longer than that. And once it does shrink down, it will be pretty wrinkly and squishy, especially if you ended up getting stretch marks.
5. Breastfeeding is HARD. I am not going to lie. Especially in that first month, it is very painful and exhausting. And once your milk comes in, engorgement is an added struggle, until your milk supply regulates itself. This can take several weeks. There are SO many times I've wanted to give up, especially in the middle of growth spurts and Vince wanting to nurse constantly. And you can't just hand your boob over, so someone else can take over a feeding. You can pump your milk and have someone bottle feed, but you have to pump to make up for that missed feeding, so your supply doesn't drop. So it's still the same amount of work, if not more, because you have to wash the bottles and pump supplies.
6. Breastfeeding does have a lot of pros though! One, it helps you lose the baby weight! I had heard this many times before giving birth, but had no idea to what extent. It REALLY helps drop the pounds. Two, no washing bottles or mixing formula in the middle of the night! You can feed in a side-lying position to where you can both just crash right out after the feeding. Three, it is said to help prevent postpartum depression, because of the release of oxytocin.
That's just about everything! If there's anything I left out that you didn't think to expect while you were expecting, leave me a comment below! :)
I was actually planning on making a 2 week postpartum update, which then turned into 3 week update and has finally become a 1 month update! Haha! I've quickly come to realize that all "plans" fly right out the window as the parent of a newborn, especially a NEW parent. So unless scheduling a mandatory appointment, there is absolutely no sense in trying to plan anything, even if it's just to fold some clothes or take a shower.
And if you know me personally or have been following my blog for a while, you probably know that I am an organized neat freak who makes WAY to many OCD to-do lists for everything. So you can imagine how upside-down my world is right now. But honestly, it's okay. :) I am learning to let things go, as hard as it can be sometimes. I'll get my routine back to some extent eventually, but now is not the time to beat myself over the head about it. Especially when I get to spend every day with this adorable little sir!!
So! To the actual update:
Weight loss: I am really VERY surprised. It was clear to me I'd loose quite a bit of weight just by giving birth, but I had no idea that breastfeeding would help me loose so much more, especially in such a short amount of time. When I weighed in at labor and delivery before I was admitted, I weighed 172 lbs. Today, I weigh 144 lbs. That's 9 lbs less than I weighed pre-pregnancy! That being said, I've been eating a lot healthier. So I will definitely continue to make that a priority, especially since I'm breastfeeding.
The thing I have not lost however, are my stretch marks. I spent so much time getting upset over them during the end of my pregnancy. But without these stretch marks, I wouldn't have my baby boy, so I have no shame in showing them! :) They will fade eventually.
Physically: I was planning on making a separate post about this, but see issue mentioned above. Haha! Just one day over a week post partum, I started having severe abdominal pain and was advised to go to the ER. It turned out I had a bad infection and, what was thought, pieces of the placenta left in my uterus. I ended up having to have a D&C that night. It turned out that they were just blood clots, but it was good that they were removed and I was put on antibiotics with as bad as the infection was at that point. So my midwife extended my recovery time by a week, not allowing me to lift anything heavier than the baby or drive until three weeks postpartum. I am feeling MUCH better now than I was and I haven't been having to take ibuprofen for a little over a week now.
To the TMI part: My episiotomy site is healing well and although I am still bleeding, the abdominal cramping has stopped, or at least gotten to a point where it is no longer painful and I am not as sore anymore. I'm also FINALLY able to walk without a waddle again! Woohoo! :D
Emotionally: I will admit. This has not been easy. Between having a newborn, being a new parent in general, the infection and surgery, Mike leaving for Midland on the 18th to look for work (he started a new job last Monday!), exhaustion, hormones, getting the hang of breastfeeding and the list goes on....I've been a bit of a mess. I think I am dealing with everything pretty well under the circumstances, but there are some days I just don't know how to begin to cope. But I know it has only been a month and things are starting to get a little easier, now that Vince is slowly but surely starting to get into more of a routine and I am getting a bit more sleep.
That's pretty much it as far as the postpartum update goes! It is still uncertain exactly when Vincent and I will be moving down to Midland, but we're still thinking it will be at the end of April. I can't WAIT to be together as a family again. I don't like being away from Mike and he definitely does not like being away from either me or his son. My mom will be leaving tomorrow and I appreciated her help SO much!
As far as Vincent's update, I made a separate post, so be sure to check that out! :)
